Aids - Aids - Aids

With appreciation to my sister in-law, Yolanda M. for this article.

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING
CARRIERS OF AIDS! ( MEANING ASSISTANCE )


HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

WELL AIDS, IS SOCIETY'S WAY OF
PAYING BACK TO SENIORS FOR
THE CONTRIBUTION THEY HAVE
MADE TO THE COUNTRY

REMEMBER, ONE DAY, ALL OF US WILL
ALSO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF GROWING
OLD

Think Before You Make A Wish On Your Golden Wedding Anniversary

With appreciation to my brother, John M. for this article.

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the QueenMary II appeared in her hands..

The husband thought for a moment:'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish
is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are
ungrateful should remember fairies are female.....

Bible Sales - Don't Underestimate The Selling Power Of A Person With A Speech Impediment

With appreciation to my sister in-law, Yolanda Mah for this article.


A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO DISCOURAGE LOUIS, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, 'Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?'

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, 'Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.'

'Fine job, Jack!' The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. 'You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.'

Turning to Paul, 'And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?'

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church,and here's $280 I collected.'

The minister responded, 'That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.'

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, 'And Louie, did you manage to sell any bible last week?'

Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents.'What is this? the minister exclaimed. 'Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!' both Jack and Paul said in unison. 'We are professional salesmen, yet You claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could.'

'Yes, this does seem unlikely,' the minister agreed. 'I think you'd better SHARE how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.'

Louie shrugged. 'I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,' he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. 'For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!'

Louis replied, 'A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said WA-WA-was,' 'W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to St-St-
stand H-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??'

Never Play Riddles With A Stranger - A Joke

A peaceful river scene

A lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.



The lesson to be learnt here is not to play riddles with someone you don't know. Otherwise you will endup an expensive loser.